Sermon for the 16^th Sunday after Pentecost- 09/17/2023

Rev. Enzo Pellini

Matthew 18:21-35

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

***

The essence of today’s text focuses on the importance of forgiveness and mercy in the lives of Jesus’ followers. The passage teaches us that we should forgive unconditionally and generously, without setting rigid limits on how many times we should forgive those who have hurt us. Instead, we are urged to forgive repeatedly, no matter how many times we are offended.

The parable in this passage illustrates the idea that, since we have received God’s forgiveness and mercy, we should reflect that grace in our relationships with others. The servant forgiven a massive debt but then refuses to forgive another servant for a much smaller debt highlights the importance of forgiving from the heart and not holding onto resentment.

Today, Jesus speaks to us about forgiveness as a fundamental principle in faith and an essential part of living a life of love, compassion, and reconciliation with others. Jesus calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven and to free ourselves from the burden of resentment to find inner peace and maintain healthy relationships. Furthermore, we are warned about the serious consequences of not forgiving, both in our human relationships and in our relationship with God.

Today’s message, related to last Sunday’s message that urged us to resolve conflicts within the Christian community, is about taking another step: addressing the root of all conflict through the act of forgiveness. This topic has two sides: firstly, we must forgive because God commands it. Just as God was merciful to us in forgiving our original sin, our separation from Him, and our journey to becoming His followers through baptism, accepting us into His flock as children of God, we must have the same permanent disposition to forgive our neighbors. Secondly, we have to forgive because it benefits us, does us good, improves us, and keeps us healthy. Lack of forgiveness not only brings spiritual imbalance and mental difficulties but also physical illness.

It is difficult to ask for forgiveness, humble ourselves, and admit that we were wrong, no doubt. One of the biggest dilemmas we face in our lives is choosing between seeking forgiveness or clinging to our pride. Why is forgiveness difficult for us? This can be explained as obstacles that prevent us from forgiving:

Intense emotional wounds: When someone has hurt us deeply, whether emotionally, physically, or psychologically, it is natural to feel deep distress and resentment. Healing these wounds can be a long and complicated process, making forgiveness challenging.

Pride and ego: Our pride and ego can interfere with our ability to forgive. Sometimes, we may think that forgiving makes us appear weak or makes us feel like we are losing control of the situation. This can hinder the process of forgiving someone.

Lack of understanding the other person’s feelings, i.e., lack of empathy: Sometimes, it’s difficult to forgive when we can’t understand why the other person acted that way or how they felt at that moment. This can make forgiveness a challenge.

Fear of being hurt again: If we have been hurt in the past by the same person or type of situation, we may be afraid to forgive and open ourselves to the possibility of being hurt again. This can lead to resistance to forgiveness.

Desiring the person who caused harm to receive punishment: Sometimes, we want the person who hurt us to be punished for what they did instead of forgiving. We believe it is important for them to face the consequences of their actions.

Culture of revenge: This is something we need to mention today. Many times, even within Christian communities, we allow different types of ideologies or false theologies to infiltrate, as well as popular wisdom or the worldly way of thinking that often has nothing to do with the Gospel. In this case, you may have heard the sad phrase: “I forgive but I don’t forget,” for example, or “I forgive only once,” etc., which are clichés and common phrases that are repeated and seem to be trendy. In our (worldly) culture and in many social contexts, revenge is considered a more acceptable response than forgiveness. This can influence our willingness to forgive, as we may feel external pressure to seek retaliation instead of forgiveness. And that popular philosophy has nothing to do with the gospel. Today, Jesus tells us that we must forgive even up to 490 times, for example, meaning always.

Not knowing how to deal with feelings: Some people may not know what to do with feelings of anger, rage, and pain they experience. Instead of facing and resolving them, it may be easier to stay angry rather than forgive.

Complicated circumstances: Sometimes, it’s not clear whom or what we should forgive. On occasions, it can be confusing to know whom or what to forgive, especially when multiple people or situations are involved. Or when the people who hurt us are no longer around or have passed away. This can make the forgiveness process complicated.

Nevertheless, Jesus tells us today that we must make the effort to forgive. Even people from our past, those who have passed away, for example. Forgiveness is not an act of feelings but an act of the will. That is, we can choose to forgive, not wait to emotionally feel capable of forgiving. It’s difficult, yes, of course it’s difficult, but it becomes easier when we handle it that way, as a decision of the will and not of the emotions, and also as an act of obedience to God. What happens to those forgiven? Will they accept our forgiveness, value our forgiveness? That will be up to them. If they do not accept forgiveness, they will have to give an account before God, just as it happened with the unmerciful  servant in Jesus’ parable.

In the case of people who are no longer with us, we can still free ourselves and forgive. We can say out loud and simply, for example: “I forgive you, I have decided to forgive you because Jesus asks it of me.”

When we gather all our possible strength and go back on our words and express the opposite of pride: “Forgive me, I was wrong.” Needless to say, everything changes from that moment on because once we say that “magic” word, every barrier falls, and we rebuild our relationships.

Many times, we cannot enjoy our lives because we have unresolved issues with others. And I’m not referring to the financial aspect but to the realm of our emotions. In fact, many health professionals agree that a large part of modern diseases arise from unresolved issues with other people. In other words, the lack of humility to take the brave step of asking for forgiveness (or also accepting forgiveness when others ask it of us for things they did) can lead to psychosomatic illnesses (something that begins in the soul and soon affects various parts of our body). Many professionals and healers affirm that, no matter how horrible the situation may seem, if we are willing to release and forgive, we can heal practically anything. And in the church, we know that where there is forgiveness, the Holy Spirit of God is manifested in the community, because the lack of forgiveness grieves the Spirit of God (Ephesians 4:30-32).

It’s true. Many of our consultations with psychologists, our conversations with religious people, and our investments in self-help books stem from the search for elements that give us courage and meaning when others have mistreated us. That is, we seek how to reaffirm ourselves and even desire to rid ourselves of burdens in order to forgive.

But you know something? Throughout our lives, there are various occasions when we are the ones in the wrong and have to ask for forgiveness.

King David wrote: “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away    through my groaning all day long. Then I acknowledged my sin to you    and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:3, 5).

Here’s a practical suggestion for this new week. I encourage you to ask for forgiveness from those you have offended, if applicable, or to accept forgiveness from those who have asked it of you. Make that call, write that email, meet with those people for that reason, and even pray with the words of the Psalm. But most importantly, to live a blessed life, which means spiritual, mental, and physical health, let’s free ourselves today from all emotional burdens by saying: “I’m sorry, I was wrong” or “Yes, I accept your forgiveness.”

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Amen